WOOKS ON A PLANE! Flight Grounded After Unruly Wook Sparks Doob and Punches Another Passenger
Surely you’ve heard of the hit Samuel L. Jackson movie Snakes on a Plane? Well if you thought that would be a nightmare, you’ve never been around an unruly Wook on a plane.
What is a Wook, you ask? Ask 1,000 Wooks and you’ll get 1,000 answers (and probably at least a few venereal diseases), but this definition from Insomniac.com sums it up pretty damn well:
Wook (noun): An especially codependent mooch or someone so intoxicated that they require the assistance of others to ensure their own survival. A needy individual who prioritizes self-awareness over self-care.
Today’s story features a perfect example of the subspecies.
Last Friday, American Airlines Flight 2408 took off from Arizona destined for Minnesota but was diverted to Denver, Colorado for an emergency landing after a wacky white rasta sparked the outrage of the flight crew and his fellow passengers.
Because it is 2019, there were dozens of cell phone videos of the incident and the aftermath, and because it is America, TMZ was the first to release the footage which shows the suspect, dreadlocks and all, being confronted by what appears to be some form of law enforcement officer. The man casually produces a giant doobie out of nowhere and then does the same with a lighter!
Man, my two kids got treated like ISIS by the TSA on our last family trip for forgetting to take their laptops out of their carry-on bags. Every passenger had to take off our kicks because of a failed shoe bombing 18 damn years ago yet this fuckboy can carry-on a Bic lighter?
So yeah, he tried to spark the joint and that’s when the crew finally tried to put their hands on him, but amazingly, they didn’t confiscate his spliff which he continued to wave around like a Magic Wand of Mids as the crew contemplated their next move.
The plane now safely on the ground in Denver, the pilot came over the intercom in the cabin and ordered all passengers seated in the rows in front of the disruptive passenger to disembark from the plane. As one polo-shirted passenger passed by, he must have had something to say to the suspect who reached out with his doobie-free hand and landed a glancing punch to the face of the man walking by. Still, the cops onboard did nothing.
Once the man was wrestled off of the plane and into the terminal, he was strapped to a stretcher where he repeatedly threatened airport staff and security that he would kill them. Denver cops must see some shit, boy, because they decided that the guy was just “suffering from a medical condition” and no charges were pressed.
This guy forced an American Airlines flight to make an emergency landing.
He smuggled weed and a lighter onto a plane, and lit it up.
He physically attacked another passenger while on the plane.
He resisted arrest and issued death threats to law enforcement officers.
No charges filed
I mean… I knew that flying with weed has become safer than ever before due to the rapid rise of cannabis reform, but this is ridiculous.
The TSA has taken to social media in recent years to address the concerns of travelers and they have addressed the topic of cannabis on numerous occasions.
“Let us be blunt: TSA officers DO NOT search for marijuana or other illegal drugs,” the agency wrote in an Instagram post right around 4/20 of this year. “Our screening procedures are focused on security and detecting potential threats.”
Well, they failed with this dude and he is damn lucky they decided to land in Colorado where other Wooks roam wild, instead of Idaho or Indiana.
Flying with cannabis is easier than ever before, but outbursts like this threaten to impose long-term changes on regulations that could make it much harder and risker to travel with a personal stash of cannabis.
For more information on how to fly with cannabis (and how not to), check out THIS HELPFUL ARTICLE from our friends at Beard. Bros. Pharms.