Police in India Plagiarize Popular Pot Sites in Unintentionally Hilarious Report

For over 2,000 years the cannabis plant, and various preparations if it, have played an important role in the religious and social culture in India.


But for nearly a quarter century, the harvest, sale, or use of any flowers/buds or resin/oils from the plant has been outlawed across the land, with specific and temporary exceptions made for certain religious holidays or festivals.

With thousands of acres of their own marijuana growing, but only being used for its seeds, stalks, roots, and leaves, a strong black market for weed thrives to the point where some entrepreneurial dealers have begun illegally importing cannabis, cannabis oils, and cannabis-infused topical salves from the U.S.

Most cops in most parts of India will look the other way if they catch a local carrying a personal amount. Though, they could shake you down for a bribe, or they could really ruin your day if you bump into a bad one, and they really don’t like it when they find out its being smuggled in right under their nose.

So when the cops in Delhi popped two men for allegedly importing 25 pound of pot, 50 grams of hash oil, and 50 grams of cannabis-infused balm, they wanted to reassure the good citizens around them that they were now safe from the American marijuana monster that had invaded their land.

The press release, which has been heavily redacted since being roasted alive on Twitter upon release, originally provided a chart listing what appears to be the names of various strains of weed, and then gives the Delhi Police Department’s description of the supposed effects.

Hahahaha where do we even begin with this…

Every single Effect that they list is beneficial, or at least not detrimental.

Contagious laughter? Inner peace? Being kind and reliable?

Sounds like a gateway drug to being a better person.

Then you get to the bottom of the chart and they list ‘DAB’ with an effect of “Intimidating Hot’. Somebody get these gentlemen a PeliNail v2 so they can get some low-temp terps up in their life!

Although the strain names may seem strange (Granddaddy Purr?), this is a culture and region that is very familiar with cannabis buds, but when it came time to write about the 50 grams of wax they apprehended, it might as well have been some sort of alien technology.

You wouldn’t know it though, based on their write-up. You might, however, recognize the wording of their write-up if you’ve ever been on the popular cannabis culture website Leafly.com

You see, the Delhi cops just cut/pasted (imported? digitally smuggled?) entire paragraphs from Leafly and other western marijuana media outlets into their own press release with no credit given whatsoever.

“Shatter, with its flawless amber glass transparency has a reputation for being the purest and cleanest type of extract. Shatter or glass extracts are strong, transparent, clear or lightly colored concentrates that pack a strong punch,” they expected us to believe they wrote themselves.

Meanwhile, here’s a screengrab from the Leafly site:

Their release states that the seized wax carries a local street value of 100,000 rupees, which may sound like a lot, but that only breaks down to like $1,400. Do the math one more time and you realize that it’s selling on the black market for under $30/g retail after being illegally imported from around the world.

Delhi cops warned that the perpetrators allegedly used the “dark web” to make the deal to import the illegal product. Their spit-polished description of the dark web was later found to be plagiarized as well.

Shady cops. Dark web. Darker oil. Three great reasons that India should just legalize the entire cannabis plant once and for all.

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