Kick em When They're Down: Monsanto's Latest $2B Haircut Should Keep Them Away from Weed for a While

Just as the largest legal cannabis markets in the world seemed ripe for the picking by Big Ag beast Monsanto, science and the rule of law caught up to the Bayer-owned behemoth and now it appears they have higher priorities than genetically modified marijuana.

Just this week a California jury ruled that Monsanto must pay a whopping two BILLION dollars in damages to one married couple who successfully proved that their cases of Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma were caused by the toxicity of Monsanto's Roundup weed-killing product and the negligence of the company to adequately warn the public of its inherent dangers.

Alva and Alberta Pilliod are the world’s newest billionaires though they’d almost surely give it all back if it would free them from the mental and physical prison cell that is cancer.

“We’ve been fighting cancer for nine years. It was caused by Roundup. We can’t do the things we used to do and we really resent Monsanto for that,” Alberta Pilliod told reporters at a press conference after the monumental ruling was announced.

The jury at the Alameda County Superior Court reviewed stacks of evidence showing how Bayer-Monsanto has manipulated the science, the media, and most especially our own federal government’s regulatory agencies to push a defective product that they know is just as harmful to animals and humans as it is to unwanted dandelions.

They have awarded the Pilliods two billion bucks for their troubles, plus another $55 mill in additional compensation.

This is the third such ruling in less than a year and there are literally thousands (13,000+) more pending nationwide. Though it is doubtful that Monsanto will get a billion dollar haircut each time another jury rules against them, the future is grim for the company and that’s just fine by us.

German pharma giant Bayer acquired Monsanto in 2016 for $63 million in a highly questionable move and they have since watched their own stock value plummet more than 40%, including another 5% drop after this latest ruling. JP Morgan recently downgraded the company’s valuation by more than $5.5 billion.

Bayer vows to repeal this latest case and they will likely succeed at least in having that two billion reduced, but it will still set the bar of legal precedent much higher than their last court loss which forced them out of $5,000,000.

At the root of the problem with Roundup is a chemical called glyphosate.

The most popular herbicide in the world, glyphosate, has been used to mitigate weed growth around shopping centers, hospitals, schools, and homes for decades – the Pilliods had been using it dating back to the 1970s.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture says that in 2014 alone, approximately 240 pounds of it were sprayed across America further contaminating untold amounts of land, water, and air to the point where cancer-causing glyphosate now shows up in trace amounts in many of the foods we eat.

Still, the Environmental Protection Agency refuses to take action and still allows this proven poison to grace the shelves of home and garden sections of your favorite stores.

Just two weeks ago the EPA issued a press release aimed at calming the public’s fears of this product, but instead made the mindbendingly stupid statement that the, “EPA has found no risks to public health from the current registered uses of glyphosate.”

Well, a jury in Alameda County just found over two billion risks.

Your middle fucking name is Protection

How long before the EPA starts getting named in these lawsuits?


For many years, a common conspiracy theory floating around the average cannabis sesh was that Monsanto was planning to monopolize the marijuana market mush like they have in other sectors of agriculture.

Well, also under the Bayer-Monsanto umbrella is Scott’s Miracle-Gro who has been a key dealer of the Round-Up line of products and even worked with Monsanto to develop various types of grass and plants that would be more resistant the herbicides like glyphosate found in their products.

When California went weed legal in 2016, Scott’s CEO jim Hagedorn was quoted saying, “Invest, like, half a billion in the pot business. It is the biggest thing I've ever seen in lawn and garden.”

The company has actually invested over a billion in the cannabis industry so far, buying up known entities like Gavita lighting and General Hydroponics, adding to the momentum behind what was once just a hazy rumor of the corporate takeover of cannabis.

This filthy ménage between Bayer, Monsanto, and Scott’s Miracle-Gro certainly didn’t spell good intentions for the cannabis scene and culture as we know it, but they have traditionally been too big to stop…until now.

Facing quite literally billions of dollars of upcoming drubbings in courts across the country, the big money at Bayer is going to have some decisions to make moving forward. Had they any morals whatsoever, those decisions would be easy and swift, but, instead expect them to continue to operate in noxious cloud of their own greed.

Hopefully this multibillion dollar distraction will keep them away from our favorite weeds for a while.

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