Cannabis Community Cracks Down HARD on 'Permit Patty'

You’ve probably heard of “Permit Patty” already.

She is the incredibly entitled middle aged white woman who wears workout gear but breaks a sweat calling the cops on an 8 year old girl.

So here’s how the story goes… “Patty”, whose real name is Alison Ettel, was minding her cracker-ass business when her work was interrupted by a young girl across the street trying to sell water from the sidewalk in front of her apartment building to people on their way to a major league baseball game.

You see, with her office windows wide open, Ettel could hear the girl’s voice and, well, action had to be taken and if you think that action was “close the windows and mind your fuckin’ business” boy are you wrong!

Pushed to the limits of her privilege, Ettel stormed across the street and confronted the 8 year old girl who happened to be black. The rest of the scene is captured by the girl’s mother who was filming from her smartphone what would later become one of the funniest viral videos of 2018.

Get ready Patty, you’re about to get meme’d girl!

When Ettel sees the camera rolling she does her best retaining wall impersonation and tries to hide but Mom of the Year is clearly heard saying, “You can hide all you want, the whole world gonna see you boo!”

Ettel, on the phone, is then heard saying, “...and illegally selling water without a permit”.

Mom says that they are doing it on their own property and Ettel, who has either memorized the entirety of San Francisco property records OR is a shitbag racist snitch replies “it’s not your property”.

Ok ok, what does a tubby white woman crying about black people have to do with weed?

Well, it turns out that Alison Ettel owns what was a pretty darn popular California-based CBD production company called Treatwell.

She founded the company after falling into a coma and discovering the power of cannabis during her recovery.

Apparently, however, the plant did not enlighten her about the age old adage about snitches, and what they get. Nor did her two master’s degrees give her the street smarts to know when to pick your battles.

Now the shit has hit the fan for Ettel and Treatwell.

Three major dispensaries have already dropped her products with no plans to bring them back, citing Ettel’s despicable behavior as the reason for the decision.

Seeing it all slip away, Ettel is claiming that she was just stressed and snapped and that she was just “bluffing” by pretending to call the police.

Ettel recently took part in the Leadership Summit at Women Grow, an organization founded in 2014 that's supposedly focused on female leadership in the cannabis industry.

Here is a pic from that summit… looks all white to us…

No, seriously, where are the black women at?

According to their mission statement, Women Grow aims to "redefine the workplace to create environments in which (women) can flourish and define (their) own destiny”, which Permit Patty takes to mean “definitely call the cops when you see a young black woman flourishing and defining her own destiny”.

You know what they say – Don’t call the cops on a kid selling water in the sun, they could be selling weed in the shade… like Treatwell.


And now for your fresh bongload of schadenfreude...

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